Remus Cosmos was what you might call a ‘nice guy’. He was sensible, sweet, sensitive and not half bad looking - but his love was not women. It was science he truly loved - the stars, the moon, the possibility of a new exciting discovery all added to the thrill Remus felt as he glanced up that telescope at the glittering globe of the West Moon.

Now Remus was single, and he had been for some time. It wasn’t that he didn’t like women (far from it), it was more that his overbearing shyness and general matter-of-factness had never appealed to any woman he had ever met. This pained him, for he had badly harboured the desire to teach somebody all he knew: preferably a true blood-child of himself and a clever wife. This was something he had always dreamed about.
Another of Remus’ problems was…

Well, to put it simply, he loved looking at his reflection in the mirror. His teeth were always cleaned with uncanny ability, with him picking out small, stubborn shards of food before putting the finishing touches with a gentle flossing. His hair took a solid two hours work to wash, shampoo, condition, towel-dry, hair-dry, brush and gel each morning. He had more shampoos, conditioners, body-oils and soaps than any woman in SimCity and an average shower took anything up to three hours. As an early-riser, he often was ready at eight sharp for breakfast.
He showed off his trim figure by wearing tight t-shirts and fashionable jeans which complimented his colouring. Aloysius was not really selfish - his own grandmother had died from leprosy and his fear of bacteria had nearly crushed his hopes of graduating in Medical School. And his looks were what drew him closer to his dream - of finding a nice wife and having a cute little baby boy or girl to teach all he knew.
One night, just as the West Moon appeared over the high mountains, Remus scurried outside. He had never been so excited! His brand new telescope, the Ame-tron 9000, had arrived that morning and he was aching to try it out. He set up the tripod and rested the huge piece of equipment on the patio, peering through with the air of an enthusiastic school-boy. He began noting down the positions of the stars in meticulous detail. Nothing was unusual about that night. It was quiet and still. Why, then, did Remus get the distinct feeling he was being observed…
As he was about to pack up and go inside, Remus’ eye suddenly caught something zooming across the star-studded sky. What was it? A comet? A shooting star? No…it was…

Later the next morning, with the sun hanging lazily in the sky, a round dish-like object was seen hovering over the Cosmos House. Neighbours reported seeing the figure of a man falling onto the sidewalk.

Aloysius later said he had seen nothing. But he couldn’t remember anything about that night…his telescope still remained on the patio as he had left it, which was unusual, but he decided that there was nothing else strange going on.
Months passed.
Aloysius’ once-trim and athletic figure was a shadow of it’s former self. He could hardly stem the urge to gorge on cookies, crisps, bacon and eggs…even his hair seemed greasier. This alarmed him, but he tried to shrug it off. Starting a strict excersize regime, he would head out for the gym to run off a few pounds. But he was too tired to run more than a few paces on the treadmill.

Sometimes he was very hormonal. He often stood to peer at himself this way and that in the mirror, sobbing.
"What the hell’s happening to me?" he whined.

And oddly enough, his sense of style had changed. He liked to walk about in whites, peaches, lilacs, purples and pinks. His shoes were safety-laces and his size was now only stocked by two places - the MooMoo Mart and the Maternity Shop. He chose the latter, finding cute little tops and matching leggings to stumble around in. He found he was more sentimental, too - no man ever cried as much at Bambi as Remus Cosmos did nine months prior to that strange evening. And it was on another evening when his stomach began to hurt again…badly.
